Hombre busca hombre( y una mujer que busca lo que venga)

Ok, rigth now, i'm watching lipstick jungle, because seems that Mental has been canceled. OMG Victory is such an idiot, she let the man of his life go(she kissed a random guy and make him feel like crap, so, i think is the better way)..

like Sophie says: "Puta tu, puta sola"/"if you are a whore, better alone"...make all your stuff in private, don't make somebody know about it.

But i got something kind of special of this show.

This:

"Never use the words "i was" together again, live for the present and for nothing else"

And i need that, because i use to live thinking about the future and mostly in the past.

I want to feel confortable again with my own skin...it's true, right now i don't like the way i feel...i would love to be a more independent persona...have my own house, money, and go to whatever place i would like to go.

Still, in some way, i can do whatever if i really want to. I really want to be a doctor? Do i really want to study this much? I think like sometimes this get really annoying and unhealthy for me. Even my straight friends are really annoying...i don't want to stay everytime with them...

It's not like i need a boyfriend. It's not like i need a handsome guy to stay with to feel better. I mean, i just want to be happy, to be happy with myself.

I want to be the guy who has who he want, who has all under control.
The one who invest the best, who isn't afraid of been who he is.

I'm feeling anxious.